Sam's Stats

I took Sam for his 4-year check up on Tuesday. He is in wonderful health. We're very lucky parents. His check-up included a weigh-in (39lbs.), height check (42 in), blood pressure check, vision check, and vaccinations. Sam liked everything except the poking aspect of the vaccinations but we don't want our kid to get polio so there you go....

There were two things Sam truly enjoyed from his visit to the doctor. I will do my best to recreate the dialogue for you below. Please note: NK stands for Nurse Karen; SM stands for Sam; TQ stands for moi, The Queen:

Conversation #1

NK: Hey Sam! How are you? I haven't seen you in a long time!
SM: Yeah, I know.
NK: You ready for your check up today? I can't believe you turned four! It's so cool!
SM: Yeah, I know (laughter ensues)
NK: You're so silly. Hey, did you pee at home before you got here?
SM: Yeah (but, really, he didn't because I knew what was coming)
NK: Really? Cause I needed you to pee in a cup.
SM: Oh, yeah! I like to pee in a cup. Mami, let's go pee in a cup (and off we go)

Change of scene. We are now in a bathroom and Sam is laughing hysterically about peeing in a cup

SM: Mami, I want to get ALL of the pee in the cup.
TQ: I don't think that's necessary, Sam. Nurse Karen only needs a little bit.
SM: No, she needs a lot. She said so (another fib on his part)
TQ: Really? I don't remember that.
SM: Yes, you do remember. Oh, Mami, get he cup...let's pee in it. You have to put it close, Mami..like right-on- my- penis. Let me show you.
TQ: Well, I was thinking I would just catch it because it might splatter everywhere.
SM: No, Mami, it won't splatter if you put it right on my penis (more hysterical laughter)
TQ: I don't think that's a good idea.
SM: It IS a good idea...let's try , Mami.
TQ: Ok, fine. Let's try it.
SM: Haha, Mami, I'm gonna pee in a cup. Oh, look, it's going in and it's not splashing, mami. It's not splashing. I did a good job.
TQ: You sure did, Sam. Let's give this to Nurse Karen...

We then transitioned back to Nurse Karen who happily took the Dixie cup with Sam's pee in it and proceeded with the rest of the visit. Here he is outside of the office and going through some of the standard tests (I've ommitted the bathroom scene for obvious reasons):

Since Sam was given two vaccinations, he was allowed to pick a special prize from the "You were poked" box. This box contains way better condolence prizes than the "Just came for a regular visit" box. Here's the play-by-play with a nurse whose name I don't know:

SM: Hey, I get to pick something out of the special box because I got a "vak-uh-nay-shon"

N: That's right! Let me get the box.

SM: Yeah, you get it so I can pick.

N: Ok, Sam, I'll get it. Here it is..go ahead and pick something.

SM: Well, not something. I get TWO things because I got poked twice.

N: Oh, that's right. I'm glad you told me.

SM: Yeah, I'm glad I told you too because I get two prizes. Silly girl.

Below is what he picked....

He ran around the house with these all day, trying to make them "go." As a result, he ended up with this:

He ran into the entertainment center and, by sheer luck, managed not to knock over Daddy's precious 52" Sony Bravia 1080(?) HD TV. Phew.