Emergency Room Visit #2 = "Hello, Mrs. Marsh. This is CPS Calling."

Once again, we visited the emergency room this past weekend to get stitches. While Sam and I were driving over to the hospital, this is the phone conversation I imagined having with a representative from Child Protective Services:

CPS: Hello, may we speak to a Mrs. Cathy Marsh?
Me: Yes, this is she. Who is calling?
CPS: Mrs. Marsh, this is Child Protective Services calling in regard to a report that was submitted by doctors at Marin General Hospital regarding your son Samuel.
Me: Yes?
CPS: It's been brought to our attention that your son has gone into the hospital to receive emergency services in less than two months. Is this correct?
Me: Yes but both of them were accidents.
CPS: Yes, Mrs. Marsh, they are all accidents but we must interview the parent in question once a report has been filed.
Me: Parent in question?????
CPS: Mrs. Marsh, can you tell us what happened on July 25, 2009?
Me: Sure. Well, Sam was playing with my Billy Blanks Tae Bo exercise bands and it snapped and wacked him in the head.
CPS: Billy Blanks what?
Me: Yeah, you know, Billy Blanks Tae Bo workouts? They have those exercise bands that attach to your foot and have handle bars and they stretch so when you punch you work out all the areas of your arm.....??? Do you know which ones I'm talking about?

CPS: I will note here that these are rubber. Is that correct?
Me: Yes
CPS: And what was he doing with them?
Me: He was stretching them to see how far they would go. Well, they stretched pretty far, actually. We did it a couple of times and then, all of a sudden, SNAP!
CPS: SNAP?
Me: Yes, the band broke off of the handle and it flew across the room and hit him in the head.
CPS: Flew across the room?
Me: Yes, well, they stretched pretty far...like I said before.
CPS: I see. Just to be clear, were you with him while he was stretching the, let's see, Billy Blanks Tae Bo exercise bands?
Me: Yes. My husband and I were holding the other handle bar side of the band. Good parenting, I know (nervous laughter on my part).
CPS: Interesting. I'll put that in the report. Can you tell us what happened in June when he visited the hospital?
Me: Yes but that was an accident.
CPS: Yes, Mrs. Marsh, they all are.

So, there you have it. Five days and three stitches to the head later, we went and got them removed. According to Sam, and I quote, "These stitches didn't hurt at all and it took like no time to get them out." He actually told the doctor at the hospital that he wanted four stitches instead of three but he was kind enough to tell him that he only needed three. The nurses at the pediatrician's office were cracking up. They said they all giggled a little bit when they saw the report. As usual, Sam told them all about it when he arrived.

And, not suprisingly, guess what he picked as his prize.....

Oh, the joy of boys.